BlueLijn

2011-12-27T15:08:00.000+01:00

Waiting...

Picture

2011-02-08T22:23:00.001+01:00

In the picture
With your hand held high
Balled to a fist
Raised to the wind
Raised to the world
Determination no bound

The picture faded
To sepia tones
And I swear
In the quiet moments
I see your fist fall
And unclench
Bowed in submission
You let the world in

Shadow

2011-02-08T22:14:00.001+01:00

The shadow that walks
Beside my footsteps
Laughs with abandon
Welcomes without reserve
No exception

The shadow that moves
Alongside my path
Has been here before
In past or in present
With the light that shone long besides

The shadow alongside
Has walked for hours
In silence
In presence
Of everything I gave it

The shadow within
Has looked on
At the shades of judgement
That coloured the view
I saw

The darkness is mine
Flowing from the light
That shone
So very brightly
It changed the colour
And the view
Soaked up
Without consequence

I’m seeing it before me
And I close my eyes.

Between

2011-02-08T22:01:00.001+01:00

You danced
Showing your life
Everything you had
To my song
In my room

You swore
Hand held high
Eyes looking up
Without reflection
Or hindsight

You touched
Like it was the last time
You could say it
Like it was the meaning
The echo to everything
Fallen before

I closed my eyes.
Where were you?

My memory of darkness obscures
All the changes
And everything you offered
To the gods
To change
From what fell before
To what falls between

Thin Line

2010-12-09T21:52:00.002+01:00

I can watch you
with your eyes fixed open
in fascination,
hypnotised
by the scene you’re seeing
The connection is visceral
blood finding itself again
As you look at the pain
spat out before you
Arrogance fallen once more

I can watch you
with my eyes closed shut
in denial
repugnance
by the scene you’re seeing
The distance is undeniable
as you push yourself up
from the pain you see
When all I can feel
is the thin line between
the standing and the falling

Hope

2010-12-09T20:38:00.003+01:00

Is it courage
if we can’t see the beast we are fighting,
is the question I ask myself
without speaking
every hour

Is it choice
when we cannot contemplate
the other option
no matter how dark
the day that threatens to fall

Is it determined
if we cast the net widely
if we throw our cards into the air
if we hold our breathe, sign a cross,
feel premonitions,
follow intuition.
Close our eyes and hope like hell...

Counting

2010-11-28T21:09:00.000+01:00

The stillness in the dark
seems to cry out
waking me from dream,
rousing me from slumber.
Into a world of silence,
where my world
is filled with the echoes of my breath
catching hard and fast.
The abrupt awakening
jolts adrenaline fuelled
heavy breathing,
which as it quietens
leaves a space between.
A moment without.
No light, no sound
Broken only by the ticking of the clock
behind me counting the time down.

Shining back

2010-11-25T21:00:00.002+01:00

Strands ofhair
hide her face
She pushes them aside.
Looking down
searching
for the reflection,
deep within the walls
Of the moon
shining back
up at itself,
an answer
to the world,
to the question
she never asked.

Anything

2010-11-25T20:59:00.001+01:00

The night is biting
through my clothes
and my breath
is billowing out white
against the darkenss
all around
and I’m standing, freezing
looking up tonight
for a star to wish on
to show the way
to light the path
Might be erased
in first light of morning
but tonight,
think I’d follow
anything.

Taken

2010-11-25T20:54:00.000+01:00

The fireside gave a glow
reflecting off the glass
half filled, half drunk
reflecting on the story
half told
half held
of times long past
of choices made
lesser roads not travelled

The fireside gave a glow
reflecting in the eyes
half tired, but alive
telling the story
half chosen
half chance
of days long past
of what was made
and lesser roads not taken.

Ashes

2010-11-25T20:48:00.001+01:00

Burn the books
Let the smoke rise
to the night I can’t see
into the breath I can’t feel
Paper to words to ashes
Burning my eyes
Indelible print
written inside
flesh, feeling, fleeting
Stories on fire
Years long gone
scripted before the newborn cry
Ink on paper
footprints we left behind
A backlight
as I’m walking away
leaving emptiness
to with the ashes lay.

Penny

2010-11-25T20:44:00.003+01:00

She held her breath
while the penny span
and for a moment
it seemed to just hover
waiting to fall
waiting to decide
which way it would go
But she let the breath out
and the penny fell
she felt years pass
as it dropped
and she closed her eyes
when it hit the ground
She opened them
to find her fate on the floor.

Pulpit

2010-11-17T20:45:00.003+01:00

Pauper, Prince and Preacher
at the pulpit stand
Crying out at the world
Voices roll off corners and crevice
Echoes find me and surround me
Cold air, warm breath clouds
Taking refuge in the lines
of strangers watching.
Watching their faces
written with concentration
and adoration.
Looking up and looking out
Bowing with deference and respect
at the trilogy
on a winter’s night,
a moment of respite.
An imposter sits
within the ranks
looking on with poker face,
hiding disgust and wanton lust,
balking at the thoughts,
crossing the threshold tonight.

Pauper, Prince and Preacher
at the pulpit stand.
Rallying words surround.
Crossing boundaries
Closing doors.
Whispers flow around
and with a look
Pauper, Prince and Preacher merge
and a shadow is all that’s found.

Black

2010-11-17T20:44:00.002+01:00

Kissing the dice
Half my world laid down
One eye praying for red
One looking on
to see what happens
if the world turns black

Undone

2010-11-17T20:10:00.001+01:00

In the darkness,
a single spotlight.
A sign of hope
A star to guide the way
Alone in this deserted town
Moon on the lake just outside
offers no solace tonight.
Awake in darkness
Sleeps the day
Your voice in echoes
fills the paint clad walls
Colour to drown in
Still undone

In the darkness
a single streetlight
A light to ring the changes
Peels out to this community
Drowned out
With whisky
and memory
Pulled asunder
The waves on shores
cry out
grab my ankles
reach out for more
Still undone

Hollow

2010-11-17T20:09:00.000+01:00

With a chisel on rock
he spent his days
carving for her
sculpting what he saw
creating what he felt,
everything that lay before him
Long nights, dark days
never strayed from the vision
carved and in flesh.
He lingered as the end neared,
not wanting to be parted
from his creation.
With the final touch
he wept silently.
When tools laid down
she was gone.
Sculptor and silence,
hollow inside.

Answer

2010-10-27T21:41:00.004+02:00

On a clear summer day
it’s a breath taken in
flowing deep down, within
Blue sky, thin clouds
Trees in the breeze,
reflection an idyll
shining bright in her eyes
showing time slowly taken,
her world exhaled.

Touched by the sound
as the world lays down
and bows to her
Beauty
and surrender
awaiting

Silent footprints driven
by eyes that absorb, not observe
Breathing in
Stealing the surrendered
On to the waters edge
to the surface reflection
shining back the vision
without flaws

Pulled by the vision
transformed in the eyes
from the beauty.
Attraction
and darkness
luring.

By the waters edge, fallen
knees on wet sand
embracing, exploring.
Pulling the water
onto
and within.
Reflection disturbed
and beneath surface
clean, pure gives way
to deep, thick blackness
that pulls as she submerges
her skin and her will.

“I came here for this.”
she said, as she poured water across her skin.
I came here for this.
As the water pulled back,
submerging.

But it was the hand that walked with her,
the warmth
and the familiar
that accompanied that walk to submission.
That was the image she thought
as the water pulled her under
and there in the gloom,
beneath the sky, the clouds
and the reflection that shone back,
that was the place she found her answer.

Fragments

2010-10-14T22:46:00.001+02:00

If I cleaved it apart
Bound it in colours
Gave them different names
A time
or a place
A different home
another voice
Dressed it up
Took it down
Used paint
Used water
Perfumed, anointed
Blessed,
Baptised
Christened again
Change of heart
Change of name
Could you bear to look
Could you understand
or see only fragments in the path behind

Fire

2010-10-14T22:36:00.001+02:00

Nestled by fire
Surrounded by darkness
at the base of the mountains
Hiding from echoes
and voices in the night

Warm and alone
Fighting sleep
Feigning indifference
Leaving a memory behind
under every stone

Fire is dying
Night is closing
Cold touches skin
and takes possession
Strength is bowing

Warmth and light fading
Resignation abounds
Peace takes hold
Until fight, with the sun
arises again.

Breath

2010-10-14T00:02:00.002+02:00

It’s the shadow of a breath
taken 20 years ago
I still carry with me today,
that you’d know if you saw once again.
It’s the look in an eye
that we once used to share
and wants to look, just once more.
It’s the echo you left
when we last spoke,
it’s carried on sea,
flown across air
and lands like a ghost at my feet
when darkness falls.
Its who I see and who I knew
before I traded it all
for a legacy of shadows,
a hope on the wave
and a breath I can’t lose
in every sunrise.

Mirror

2010-10-14T00:01:00.004+02:00

The mirror in a darkened room
Lay out a reflection
Of the present
And everything past
That could not be seen

The room in silence
Echoed with shadows
Filled with footsteps

With a breath she’s behind me

A brush of skin and a word
beneath it all

With a slip of cloth
She’s behind the glass

And I’m left
Staring at my reflection once more

Doors

2010-10-14T00:01:00.001+02:00

The dirt flies
as the footsteps echo
across plain and field.
Heavy breathing,
they watch her walk
on and up
to drawbridge lowered

The heart pounds
and the approach comes
closer looming larger.
Hand is raised.
Fist is clenched.
Door beaten with intent,
the knock still barely echoes

Waiting with baited breath
Nothing moves
inside the walls or out.
Eyes are focused,
Will of steel,
Determination bound,
Arms raised to try again.

In silence,
with no pre-emption
doors creak
to slowly open
Footsteps forward
Into inner sanctuary
Barriers closed behind

Eyes adjust
to change of light
Armies watch her pass
to move onwards
towards the next
barrier of passage
Nothing moves from path

With stares surround
The girl is standing
at another door to come
Nothing waivers
Focused disregard
for soldiers watching
sole entrant is waiting

Knock echoes louder
Door opens quicker
Scene is played again
Quiet treading
No word is spoken
The stranger moves on in
to next block upon the path

Each knock is risen
from breaths of silence
left unanswered on the wind
Each door is opened
without question
or persuasion
The girl she moves on in

Time still passes
without sound
Light changes into dark
and soon she’s passed
through doors unopened
for past enemy or kin
Each closes as she enters

Never looking back
The closing echoes
Across valley and desert
To ears afar
who wait for news
of a girl
who walks alone

Doors opened
Doors closed
No repetition here
For each one passed
brings it closer
Determination carries
and knows why she came

The clock chimes echo
and mark her passage close
but she’ll continue
on paths not trodden,
through doors,
under eyes
until they know her name.

Honey

2010-10-14T00:00:00.001+02:00

Who are you
Hidden in corners
Between lines
Under lids
in the middle of the room
in the middle of the bed
Tossing and turning
Dreaming
Thinking
Of the stories that cut me
Of words that soothe me
Warmth and honey
Soft gentle sweetness
That takes everything it needs

Door Slams

2009-12-25T22:59:00.000+01:00

When the door slams
The echo rings
Across the vacuum
Never trodden on
Not sure if it rings
In your tower
Long chosen
War torn
Allies banished
Beyond the dunes
Of your land

When the door slams
The echo rings
Across my world
Worn down
Worn out
Far beyond the tower
I left behind
Eroded in tides
Washed far beyond
Your horizon
Allies chosen
And changed again
I’m watching as the armies form

Can't...

2009-12-25T00:02:00.001+01:00

I’m alone and shouting
In a room without air
Trying to send a message
I’ve been wrong
But you’ll not hear
And never see
Waves of lies
That changed me
Took me away
Can’t return and replace
Can’t make anything
From the fragments left behind
Splinters can’t be put together
Shadows walked in
And cast over you
Don’t think I can make this right again.

I have

2009-10-05T22:50:00.000+02:00

I have lived a thousand lifetimes
Between the rising and the falling of the sun
I have walked carefully and lightly
On a path not travelled before
But left footprints that will echo
For years to come

I have breathed a thousand breaths
In the time one seed forms
Carried in wind, washed by sea
Grown in the warmth of chest
I have touched ever gently
With hands never used before
Cradled life, buried death

I have lived deep in laughter
Graced by smile and warm regards
Held aloft, cradled down
In the belly of the earth
And by night gaze above
For I am star and sea alike
Dream softly and dream fondly
Of the warmth that lays me down.

Whisper

2009-02-15T00:33:00.007+01:00

The moment the sea breaks
Ocean to wave to foam
Lying in darkness
Alone in body, in thought
Watching the fire spark
And die right down
Walls around me
Contained by secrets never seen
Beneath the stars
Honesty in costume
It’s the time I didn’t call
And what they never said
Breathing out, biding time
Running alone without name
It’s when the flame dies
When your name shifts to a whisper
And the smile it leaves behind

Alone

2009-01-10T22:14:00.000+01:00

Tie the wool from your eyes
Across my vision
Bind my wrists
With the sinew and bone
Beneath the curve
You fought to find
And deny

Take the colour from my eyes
That look on in judgment
Cripple my feet
Tie my tongue
And free mind
To walk
in spaces between

Borrow the skin from her body
That walks with entitlement
Hang my head
Bury thoughts beneath
A rented body
and contracted mind
for hours of darkness
when the sun shines

Give the time between
Inside and asunder
Beats of knowing
And lines of doubt
Your coloured eyes
Blind you
To the footprints
Alone

Time

2008-11-12T22:28:00.000+01:00

The time of the hour
is changing
as the wind swings direction
and calls my name
once more

The time of the hour
moves on
ever swiftly
no pause
for breathe
or contemplation
of more

The time of the hour
is dark before dawn
crushed by defeat
and weight of anguish
calling your name
in twisted moonlight sweat,
left without shadow
or incident
hands holding more
than before

The time of the hour
has a different name
shouting
to the moon
swathed in darkness
bathed
in breathlessness
panting
clutching
reaching
for the promise
that hangs in the wind.

Again

2008-11-12T22:10:00.001+01:00

The plateglass spinning
in the rain
catches the water
and light
sending reflections
shooting across
the consciousness
buried beneath
the tree by the ocean
years ago.

Glass glistening
in darkness
lit only by memory
and a sense
of possibility
lingering
beneath reflection
and the sky
that covers my head
with a darkness
that closes my eyes
and helps me
to breathe.

Fragile touch
gentle moment
filled with expectation
and burden of pain.
Peace
by the fire,
a sanctuary
created
to lose you
and find you.
Again.

Cloth on your face

2008-09-01T20:33:00.003+02:00

The cloth on your face
hides your eyes
and betrays your heart
when it sweeps in the wind

I can see what they saw
To feel the voice
Hands twisted
The breath assembled
in order
to convey
lines of light
beneath the robes

I can follow behind
the statues of holy
that crumble as you fall
Breath baited
body reaching
to
just
have
more

I can echo the words
that fall on the podium,
lead the heros on
to victory
and blood
that runs down their shield
all the way back home

I can banish the ones
that suppress
and conceal
the colours the cloth betrays
Black over black
touch over steel
writing the time
as it goes

I can speak in the voice
that been ringing in echoes
for days
at a time,
when nothing pervades
the depth of the want
hanging in shadows,
floating away on the wind

Darkness seeps

2008-09-01T20:14:00.003+02:00

If I close my eyes
the darkness seeps
between the lids
and hides the time of judgement
Beneath the spread
of hidden places
a moment knows your name
Entrusted to the hands
that guide through plains
and conceal the lies by day
Embedded in the body
that covets and needs
in times breath unseen
the darkness seeps
and silently calls your name

Alone

2008-08-25T11:44:00.011+02:00

Alone at night,
The shadows fall
before foot or hand awaken.
An unseen thought within
hides action without echo.

Alone by day
the thought replays
without precedence or limit.
The memory is desires glove
contained but not restricted.

Alone again
the shadows haunt
space and flesh unveiled.
Imprint guides the unseen land
touching, ever certain.

Alone within
the thought evades
constraint or even guidance.
Running fast, towards the next,
colours deep in resonance.

Alone with you
when midnight falls
the path of memory lain.
Hope and fear now merge together
promise waiting in the distance.

Alone at night
The shadows fall
The lights are now awakened
Memory tainted by imagined colours
Time's now evaporated.

Unseen Battlefield

2008-07-05T22:26:00.002+02:00

The unseen battlefield
Beneath my feet
Falls in footsteps by day
Pulling and asking in silence
The debris cuts my body
Leaving shadows beneath my skin
That pull me to my knees by night
Haunted by memories
Of ghosts that touch
Of the tribe fallen
Days of accumulation
Bring life, longing, wanton
To drive the road
Staring at my own demons
Fighting from the hospital room
To the greens
And the sweet choice of freedom
The shroud of disbelief
Cannot erase the possibility
That those fallen
Once walked in my shoes

For Bob, Christine, Colin and Asa

The name you gave me

2008-06-04T00:22:00.000+02:00

The name you gave me
Late at night
In the corner
Smoothed with liquor
As I struggled to keep warm
The name has carried
Has been freely given
Written on my body
In moonlight
Beneath twisted sheets
It has endured in places
Where time stood still
Existing in memories
Long since shattered
Fragments blowing in the wind

On the wind

2008-06-03T23:54:00.001+02:00

In the bubble
is a world complete
Moulded to shape
Filled with space
Floating beyond the lines
Reflecting the outside
Coveted with briefness
Touch cannot be denied
Through the walls
and the borders
lies a secret within
Passing through lives unseen
Riding the current
Time and place past
Circles never completed
Invisible
Imagined
Capture is destruction
Memory and desire on the wind.

Slip

2008-05-01T22:02:00.000+02:00

Visit the King
and kneel for him
With gentle hands
take his arm
lead him from burden
From palace walls
Caught like prison
Each alone
But only
If he will let it slip
from his head
for one day

Last thread

2008-05-01T21:54:00.001+02:00

Last thread breaking
tore the rag
to fly away
Left a hollow
ringing with grief
suspended in screams
without sound
Rain pulsing
washes skin
hiding tears alone
Crowd pushing
bruise and ground
reaching time unseen

Last thread breaking
tore the rag
to fly away

Unbidden

2008-04-06T18:45:00.002+02:00

To watch the lights fade on the cityscape
when darkness leaves shadows and ghosts
The weight of the footsteps fallen
carried alone and unflinching
through silence and emptiness filled
with expectation and sorrow
Time echoes through space borrowed
Layers once hidden unfold
Stories in circles begin at the ending
and lead back to places unbidden

Skin and Paint

2007-12-31T19:58:00.000+01:00

The skin and paint
Cover rock and metal
Conceal fire
Quench need
Subdue desire
Colours distract your eye
Soft smothers covet
Volume turned down
Voice left shouting to the wind
Competition conquers
Leaving you alone to win
Claim lands foreign
Enforce your name and colours
Company enforces
Standards and rules
Public worn
Private dominion
Hostile ground
Conceals voices
Strong and true
They carry on the wind

Breath taken

2007-12-25T17:31:00.001+01:00

Breath taken in
and pushed back out
Forming clouds
as the sun rises
above the benches
and all the people not there
Feet falling
punching frozen ground
The footprints running
and fading
Barely sound
Body bursting
and fighting against
Body reaching, trying
to find more

Breath taken
Footprints running
Sun rising
Anger fuelled
Striving
For the line

There is

2007-12-24T19:33:00.000+01:00

There is a moment
Where time hangs still
Trapped without air
In a place where life hangs musty
And true

There is a place
Left behind
Where the flowers
Lay frozen and cold
Without warmth
Hope broken apart

There is a body
Crossed with ink and scar
In a world set apart
That no language pervades
Shadows fall in wake
Footprints fade
Racing forward once more

Wooden Shell

2007-12-18T14:56:00.000+01:00

With wooden shell
and hollow centre
it inches forward by night.
Stripped of flesh
now running lighter,
knowing nothing
save empty and abandon.

The space inside,
Once beating,
Once feeling.
Lies dormant,
A wasteland deep within.

Eyes of glass look on
scrub ground, reeling
from footprint marked out clearly.
Movement echoes
through air of stillness,
never broken by sound.
The doors around
lie closed and battered
from times past and future feared.
In silent standoff
stand wood and walls
neither bending to the task
to join together
fixed and changing.
One hollow.
One within.

The time will pass
without word or action,
each waiting for the one,
when time will change
the wall of silence,
the knowing disregard.

The wood will perish.
The walls will crumble.
Time wears down what will.
Stand apart
And all alone
They all become the same.

in silence

2007-12-17T12:11:00.000+01:00

With the house empty
the door open
invitation extended.
The wind howled
walls shook
thoughts and actions expanded.
The heart of me outside
the welcome directed
trouble within unleased.
Companion forgotten
civility intended
thoughts in silence absorbed.

On a body

2007-12-12T13:47:00.000+01:00

The words fell on a body
That vanished years past
They fell clear and true
Wiped of times pain
Fluid and eloquent
They came from within
Without reason or motive
Strength with peace
They reached out
And touched me
I fell to the ground
Conquered

Written Inside

2007-12-10T09:23:00.000+01:00

A white flag is waving
in a country long forgotten.
She is sitting beneath, wondering
For how many miles the vision carries
If it flies across the border to your palace
Your Ivory Tower
Your prison
She wonders whether you can see it
through the bars on your window
through your clouded vision.
Can you see the way it blows,
the way it moves
Bloodied
A shroud long cherished
A rag torn from time
A fragment of honesty
From an epic
In a war of mirrors and lies
Stained with life and tears
and splinters of her heart
She is hoping
You will look beyond
You will look outside
And look through the dirt and ruin
and read what’s written inside

for you

2007-12-05T13:47:00.000+01:00

Under the cloth
Lies a reason
to close my eyes
and imagine

Beneath the name
Hides a person
Worth the fight
And deception

Behind the story
Was the place
I was looking
For you

Promise

2007-12-03T09:07:00.000+01:00

It’s not the words I told you
Or the way I sat on your couch
It wasn’t the offer
I refuted
Or how I turned away

It was the way I kissed her
Today on the bridge
Five years too late
Ten minutes too soon

It was the story
I interrupted
by the river
and the eyes
that watched
as I finished a promise

The Words

2007-12-03T09:06:00.000+01:00

The words I write
Belie my broken pen
Twisted fingers
And broken body

The words I write
Dance around
Truth
And story

The words I write
Hide between
The lines
Both written and spoken

The things I write
Are my exorcism
And confession
Today and tomorrow

Touched

2007-10-02T20:48:00.000+02:00

Touched
And fallen
Invisible
Lured
By sight
And sound
Breath
Baited
Waiting
Alone
Not a sound

Within

2007-08-25T19:08:00.000+02:00

I wonder if you’ve forgotten
my time inside
below and up within
If time falls down
and in darkness
finds a space
to fill with memory and longing

I wonder if time’s forgotten
Pain and pleasure fallen
Touch on skin
Me in yours
and you reaching
for everything you shouldn’t

I wonder if I’ve forgotten
Time over and again
Would I see it once more
Wanting the outside
And within

Everything

2007-08-20T22:00:00.000+02:00

I remember a time
In a wood lined room
Lying under the eaves
Forgotten
Water falls down
Walls unfamiliar
Blood on white
Washed away
I’m looking through doors
I’m looking through walls
Asking for offers
Long given
I’m walking around
I’m holding within
You’re testing the limits
of everything

Falls back

2007-08-11T22:54:00.000+02:00

Could you touch?
Would you know?
Skin long past
and forgotten.
Blood rings true
Path falls back
With echoes of times long ago

Could you feel?
Would you care?
Bruise and scar
long healed
Memories fall down
Truth in black
When past falls down and falls back

Long Ago

2007-08-06T00:09:00.000+02:00

This is such a personal thing
To do
Or to read
To lay down what I’ve done
with the way I feel
This is such an intimate thing
filled with fear
and longing
This is such a dangerous thing
To fill space
To fill time
With emotions of long ago

Pick up

2007-06-24T20:16:00.000+02:00

Pick up the glass
and pour the wine on to the floor.
If they ask,
say nothing
or say it wasn’t you.
Take your card
and make your lie
and repeat the mantra
until it becomes the sole of your shoe.
If they ask you again,
Tell them what you know.

Pick up the story
and pour it into their hands.
If they ask,
say everything
or say whatever’s in mind.
Take your part
and make your story
and repeat it over
until it becomes the blood in their veins.
If they are asked again,
They’ll tell what they know

Pick up your lie
or pick up your truth,
Because you will be asked...
and when they ask
it’s your turn to speak.
So choose your words carefully
as the colours blend together.
and when you speak,
tell me what breaks the lie,
belief or action?

2003 2-3

Last Man

2007-06-24T19:15:00.000+02:00

It’s the last man standing
Dressed in grey
Swaying
With grief
Sorrow
And whisky

It’s the last man hiding
In a tower
A rich interior
Imprisoned within
Fat on sin
Days pass

It’s the last man giving
From in the hills
Skin raw
Bones tired
Broken
Surrounded
Chosen

Gone

2007-06-16T22:28:00.000+02:00

Did it fall
Washed by rain
Kicked away
Pulled apart
Cracked
Broken
Shattered
Lying as rags
Pieces
Ashes
Gone
Forgotten

But not for me

Saw

2007-06-16T21:22:00.000+02:00

It’s not where you are
It’s where you were
And where you went with his hands
It’s not the words that I wrote
That I burned in your name
The night it fell
The words that hold me by day
And vanish by night
When my thoughts find you
And name you
And it feels like I’m seeing
What she saw.

Rain and Rose

2007-05-19T08:49:00.001+02:00

To tell your story
Would fill them with horror
And pain
But I saw your eyes
When you spoke
And I saw how violence
Can be something you live with
And create something you love

I can never tell
Of her hands on your skin
For it speaks
Of want and power
Taken to extreme
And I saw how lust
Can be something you live with
As you try to forget

It goes unsaid
The weight of day
The dance of death
For it lays shadows in your eyes
That colours can hide
And I saw how past
Can be something you carry
Causing rain and rose

Return

2007-04-16T21:05:00.000+02:00

It’s the circle
The rhythm
The breathe taken in
And pushed out
It’s the fingerprints
And the shadows
That lay on the window
And blur the life within
It’s the knowledge
Of how I run
And of how
No matter what
I always seem to return

Window

2007-03-30T23:37:00.000+02:00

The window through which you see me
Is a clock
That turns with a speed
I can’t comprehend
It changes the hour
And creates its own lies
It is sugar and acid
Deep within
It is current unseen
A rhythm that echoes
From a time long ago

Rule of three

2007-03-11T21:44:00.000+01:00

It's the other side of the penny.
Thrown to the ground
in middle of the thoroughfare,
with such a soft landing
you think no one will know.

It's your bait
and your intent
as you make your own brand,
when you tie yourself up
and want to be found.

It's a rule of three.
When you hold the gaze
you spill your truth
and your smile in diffusion
becomes a scowl
when the rules are not your own.

This is

2007-03-11T21:32:00.000+01:00

This is 5 year time
and a question I see
when I look in her eyes

This is 2 years down
with no words
that fades away when she returns

This is now
and the truth that falls
when she comes back

This is a shadow
that she lives and I feel
and the answer to why
her love and belief shine through

Where

2007-03-11T21:27:00.000+01:00

It's where the waves fall
and my feet get wet
It's where the footsteps walk together
and walk right by
It's where the land rises
and where I fall
Surrounded
Encompassed
Within

Tripping home

2007-02-26T21:08:00.000+01:00

It's not a story
It's a mirror
With no reflection
Except our own
Blank
Blinded
Delusions alive
Confusion
No trust
Only choice
Divided
Shattered
Tripping home

Last Link

2007-01-28T18:27:00.001+01:00

He is the last link I have
To a past life I have hidden
Deep within a mountain of shadows.

He is a memory and reminder
Of the promise and hope
That I walked away from unblinking.

He is raked from the ashes in tender moments
The only one who can look in my eyes
And see what he knows.

He is your keeper
The last one who knows
Of all my tears at midnight
And everything we didn’t choose

In

2007-01-28T18:13:00.000+01:00

In a world with no regrets
You are mine
In a life that doesn’t look back
I can’t take my eyes off you
In a solitary moment
I can feel you
But in a time that moves on
I move further away

Moving on

2007-01-17T12:40:00.000+01:00

Moving on
Back to the city of shadows
Where the ghosts
Gaze from towers
And hide on the bridges
Where I dodged you
Years ago

I’m running on a lie
While they look for me
And wait
While they try for me
And I don’t tell

Moving back
To a city of hope
Where I once believed
In you
In us
In me
Each time

Moving through
The memories
And fears
The failures
The dreams evaporated
Now with the ones
That have taken their place.

Think

2007-01-01T11:19:00.000+01:00

Live by the road
And don’t look back
Rules I’ve long lived by
Rules that I break every time
Any time any essence of you
Walks into my life

No regrets
Live in the moment
Strength and solitary
Bound and unbidden
Bleeding and remorseful
When I think of you

Stories

2006-12-30T20:15:00.000+01:00

If you had a choice of stories tonight
Which would you choose
The one that shows you
with all the lights on
Or the one with the dark spaces
We've walked between all along

Can I believe in coincidence
In twists of fate
and the line that we choose
Or should I believe in the absence
Of everything I've never felt
Of everything you've never said
and every frustration you've ever given me
For playing a game
and breaking the rules
and all the expectations I've never know.

Hell or High Water

2006-11-05T18:31:00.000+01:00

If I walked back through the door
The prodigal daughter
Lost
Found
If they saw me again
Would they know me
Would I fill conversations
In pleasure or in pain
Would they gloat
Or envy

Time changes everything
It certainly changed me
Too many times fallen
With no words to describe
Too many times sealed
Deep within me
That I’m not even sure
Alcohol could tease out
Too many dreams and plans
That I’m following
Silently
Come hell or high water

Purgatory

2006-11-03T13:29:00.000+01:00

A moment in purgatory
Enclosed in white walls
So slick you can see yourself
So thick nothing can seep in
I’m lying immobile in someone else’s clothes
Listening to minutes of silence
Time so pure it can deafen
I’m watching the bodies float in and roll out
Without words
Without comfort
The air so cold it drips into me
Never to touch me again
Waiting to die
Waiting to live again
Suspended beyond fear
A moment in purgatory

Bound

2006-10-18T17:17:00.000+02:00

If I were bound to write
And you were bound to read
Would I tell the truth?
Would I write a story of two futures
That I live together each day
Would I write of the blood and tears
They have taken from me
And of how I’m running away
Would I write of the old, old faces
We’ve both loved and lost on the way
Of places we met and things we did
Just to keep the memories in play
Would I write the story of me
Of days lived and nights cried
Would it shatter your thoughts
Would it make you think
That you never knew me anyway…

Never Saw

2006-10-18T17:02:00.000+02:00

Take your hand away
and I’ll sit straight back down
Invisible once again
for all the world to see
Would you know me if you saw me again
Would you open your eyes
If just for five minutes
If only to see
You never saw before

25-5-03

Ink on paper

2006-10-18T17:01:00.000+02:00

It’s the ink on paper
that steals hearts
and seals yours to me
It’s the strokes
we stole
one evening
long ago
Pursued through the streets of Dublin.
Who took the predators head
and held it up for all to look?
It’s the flotsam you carry
and the cloth on my nakedness
It’s the ink on paper
and the writing that fades in time.

2003 31-12

1000 miles

2006-10-18T16:55:00.000+02:00

I close my eyes
and metal on wood takes me back
The sun is shining
and I’m 1,000 miles away
Before you bled onto me
and a war made us all take sides
When a morning in a ghost town
Brought a beckoning silence
Air floated with possibility long since abandoned
Here the stillness descends upon me
Until I can’t breathe with its weight
You’re all sitting there watching
The air is thick with expectations
You’re sitting there waiting
for my to bestow gratitude deep within you
and I’m running away
I close my eyes
and I’m 1,000 miles away

2003 6-3

Beyond

2006-10-06T19:52:00.000+02:00

Could I follow you
on the days when nobody sees
Head held high
no one looks
beyond what they can’t see

Could I search for you
in the hours they pay
hands held open
no one sees
beyond where they look

Could I talk
in the minutes
when you find me
no one sees
beyond what they don’t want to see.

She

2006-10-06T19:51:00.000+02:00

She’s not a friend
She’s me,
stuck on repeat
Tied with elastic
Bound up in company
Stronger in places
that the eyes don’t see
She’s warmth over steel
She’s a product of war
that found its way to your arms
that push her away
while she’s keeping you alive.

2003 16-10

Curtains close

2006-10-06T19:50:00.000+02:00

It’s dark when the curtains close
Lives and loves once forgotten
ressurect and dance once more
The faces change
But I can see you strong
In disguise or in truth
Would I be wrong
to believe in what I see
Are you hidden
Or too far gone
To reach out and touch

Down and Around

2006-10-05T19:54:00.000+02:00

It's like looking through windows in the dark. To see pieces of lives you recognise. Just watching from further away.

I'm watching her sink and I know this is not the end, that she won't come back to her life anytime soon, if at all. I see her in her blackness, struggling for understanding and acceptance and I know that I've never seen anyone understand. I'm hearing him, try to give everything he has, with no idea that he's not seeing what lies within.... and I'm watching them.

To watch them try to cope with someone who feels what they have felt. To know the pain and despair and be able to shed a some light into the darkness. I'm watching them get deep within the hours as they move by. I'm watching them get deep within every action and pain felt within.

Time leads to time and I know it could all go in reverse. To watch a person climb to such heights after feeling such lows and I know I could be left alone once again. In a room with a shell, looking for a way back. It could all go back to nights awake and phone calls at 3am. It could go back to weekends where you save a life so many times you can never count anymore. It could go back to sitting on a shower floor, covered in blood and tears, watching the life flood back in. It could go back to moving out the way, quickly, when they try to hit you for being the only thing from stopping them die. I've never seen such pain and hatred in a persons eyes before. It could be months after and finding all the objects that you've hidden out the way, to stop ideas creeping into darkness through the power of suggestion.

There was a time when I lived with the idea that any time I walked into a room, I might find them dead. Their habit of passing out at inopportune moments, never helped with this.

There was a time when I was a lifeline, a way back from the pain within. Now there is a time when everything I've ever seen is called back up again. This is a time when I'm watching someone else in pain, something that never gets any easier. A time when I want to talk about what I see, to cry for help for them, to cry for understanding, but they are still buried in their own shame. I hope there is a time when they sit where I sit, looking back on it all.

Forget

2006-08-29T13:47:00.000+02:00

The truth
The glass ropes that bind me
The face that stares at me.
Buried in the past
The memories that haunt me
Are separate from the truth
That looks at me unknowing
That I'm looking right back
It's the end that I think of
In the darkness
In the peace
With the invisible path stretching out
In front of us
How can you see what is not there
and how can I forget what was.

Echoes

2006-08-02T18:08:00.000+02:00

Freefalling inside the womb of a child
Waiting for the last drink
And the last drive home
Turning sidewards
Turning backwards
And closing my eyes

Walking forwards
Crossing the rivers
Hiding my footprints
And the echoes of my feet as they land

Bittersweet

2006-07-03T12:07:00.000+02:00

See the shirts that line the walls
and watch the faces change
Drink down the bittersweet
as they place the bait
But be the last to bite
Lay it down with words of sweet
Leave the bottles where they stand
But take the pen
for miles away
the lines will come when they can

Nemesis

2006-05-25T19:11:00.000+02:00

What if your nemesis
Wore and invisible face
And tied themselves to you
One day as you looked on
Would you feel the weight
Would the tension pull you back
To where you both stood
To the people you loved
To the woman who runs away
But comes back to the crime

2005 20-12

Suitcases

2006-05-25T18:28:00.000+02:00

I'm packing again. In my head, at least. I'm walking around the house putting mental stickers on furniture. What should I take? What is replaceable? Is it all replaceable? What will you want? I'm trying to pre-empt you. Do I agree with your choices? You know, the ones you don't know you've made yet. The ones you barely know you'll have to make.

I'm selecting again. Still in my head. What do I love? What do I choose? What do I want to define me? Those threads that I want to continue on. Things that pull at my heart when I step away. And suddenly I realise you'll have to do this too. Have to choose what you love above all reason. And I'm not sure what it will be.

I'm downsizing again. This is all about me. It's my head and I'm still in the centre. I'm the engine of change. I'm the drive behind it all. I wonder if you could sit here forever. I wonder how you live with someone who never sits. Who never rests. I'm shedding my skin again. I'm leaving behind. I'm looking out at tomorrow while you're driving through today.

Further on

2006-05-25T18:14:00.000+02:00

I take your dreams as our worlds collide. You take my hand and lead me down the mountain. Through the trees. Stuck on roads. Lost. Found. Chasing the day as the sun falls. Driving North. Deadlines, headlights, Two lines. Photos in windswept. Photos of snow. The speed that changed as the altitude climbed. We drive north past the demons. Up to the dancers. The ones that remind me of St Stephens Green in August.

It's the puppy in Cincinatti. It's Elvis in Nashville. It's the houses I'm looking for.

I took your dreams as our worlds collided. Looking West. Looking on. Tracing roads. Tracing the journey so far. Now I look a little further on...

Midnight thoughts

2006-05-25T16:51:00.000+02:00

It's the dreams that follow you
When there's nowhere to go
Trapped by words and belief
I'm left looking for a place
To run to
To find and fit to
To lay both feet on the ground

It's the dreams that follow me
Where there's no one around
Trapped by visions
and tracked by words
I'm left leaving this place alone

It's the dreams that live within
That no time or space can erase
Freed from bindings
From those who know me
and those who chase away
It's the midnight thoughts never shown
and it's the people who live with them
and make them their own

Would you know

2006-05-20T18:51:00.000+02:00

Can you tell from the words?
When you never listen.
Did you swop listening, for reading
One day before?
Do you know
When you never tell?
Did you share
All you should never have done
Would you ever tell
of the thoughts that pass in the night?

Where I am

2006-05-20T18:45:00.000+02:00

It began with a room full of people I had never met before. It began when you walked in the room. The memory is imprinted in me, etched into my mind. It was stalking, the legal kind. It was me chasing you and watching you chase right back. It was deadlines and daylight. It was petrol fumes and miles down. I've slept in your walls and watched you make me tea. You changed your plans and tried to pay me for my time. You recanted your words and you watched me walk away. With the darkest Tuesday it changed and I'm calling out. Watch my words rebound. Your handshake to me was loaded. Now I'm sitting, watching whilst the dogs are tracking me down.

Can't Remember

2006-05-20T18:40:00.000+02:00

I can't remember when
this happened before
and I can't remember what
you said
and I just don't know
where this is going

This is twice around
on a five year time
This is all again
on a one time ride
This is all
we will ever know

I'm calling and falling
and you're following me down
You're drawing conclusions
Without listening to a word
That I never said

Leave Alone

2006-03-17T22:17:00.000+01:00

I saw her through you
And I watched you walk away
You held the door open
I looked in and he just walked past
And I saw him through you
Before I looked away

Lightening strikes in rainstorms
And you’re back at my door
Fumbling in grief in the dark
Fumbling over me

Now I see you through him
It’s his door where I stand
Him, in your world, that lets it out
Him, who never saw me
Him who you’ll never tell
And me you never leave alone

2005 20-12

Choice

2006-03-17T22:15:00.000+01:00

It’s a strange choice
A penny spinning on a table
Stuck in time
The moment dampens sound
And I’ve no voice to call
No choice
Old or new
Struck dumb
Kept away

Where you stand

2006-03-17T22:04:00.000+01:00

Your words lay like footsteps
They fall loudly
And without direction
Helplessly I watch you move
You never forgot
And you never let go
I feel like a pawn
In your game
That you don’t know you’re playing
What is it that pulls you
When I push you away
What is it that pushes you
As I pull you back in
And I realise despite it all
You’ve never moved from where you stand